Blog Audit: Expansion
May 08, 2018
In class we discussed the differences between intimacy and
sex. We described intimacy as having this special connection. This special
connection can be you sharing details with your doctor or someone you trust.
Sex on the other hand can be described as physically having intercourse. These
definitions change depending on the person; it is self defined.
When I think of sex, I think of those cheesy movies where the girl and the guy fall in love with each. It's like love at first sight. Their first time having sex with each other is in a romantic setting with candles and rose petals. They instantly have this connection and attraction. So in my head, this is how I always thought my first time would be. Okay...to be real, I knew it probably wasn't going to be up to that standards, but I could dream, right!? My freshman year of college, I was crazy about this boy. The moment I saw him, I thought he was super sexy. He had this longish/skater hair, blue eyes, and a beautiful tan. In the back of my mind I wanted to end up him. As I went on other dates with a couple of other guys, I still had that same dude in the back of my head. Long story short I went on a movie date with him the second semester of my freshman year. After the film, he asked if I wanted to hook up. I honestly got the wrong impression of the guy. By asking me that on our first date, I thought he was just using me. After getting to know him a little bit more, it turns out, he just wanted to lose his virginity. I REALLY wanted to be in a relationship, so I agreed to lose it to him (thinking something would come of it). Part of me was also curious about this new exploration. So, I agreed to have sex with him the last week of freshman year. Afterwards, I was honestly heart broken because the following semester I planned on doing an internship in New Jersey. After long debates, though I knew I couldn't get this guy out of my head. I couldn't go another 9 months without seeing if I could make it work with him. So, I declined my internship and went back to Stout for the fall semester.
After a month into my sophomore year, that same boy asked me to be his girlfriend! We've been dating for 2.5 years now, and I couldn't be happier. Let me just say though that there is a difference between intimacy and love. That first time we had sex was merely just to pleasure ourselves, but now having sex allows us to connect with each other in a whole different way. I trust him, and he trusts me.
When I think of sex, I think of those cheesy movies where the girl and the guy fall in love with each. It's like love at first sight. Their first time having sex with each other is in a romantic setting with candles and rose petals. They instantly have this connection and attraction. So in my head, this is how I always thought my first time would be. Okay...to be real, I knew it probably wasn't going to be up to that standards, but I could dream, right!? My freshman year of college, I was crazy about this boy. The moment I saw him, I thought he was super sexy. He had this longish/skater hair, blue eyes, and a beautiful tan. In the back of my mind I wanted to end up him. As I went on other dates with a couple of other guys, I still had that same dude in the back of my head. Long story short I went on a movie date with him the second semester of my freshman year. After the film, he asked if I wanted to hook up. I honestly got the wrong impression of the guy. By asking me that on our first date, I thought he was just using me. After getting to know him a little bit more, it turns out, he just wanted to lose his virginity. I REALLY wanted to be in a relationship, so I agreed to lose it to him (thinking something would come of it). Part of me was also curious about this new exploration. So, I agreed to have sex with him the last week of freshman year. Afterwards, I was honestly heart broken because the following semester I planned on doing an internship in New Jersey. After long debates, though I knew I couldn't get this guy out of my head. I couldn't go another 9 months without seeing if I could make it work with him. So, I declined my internship and went back to Stout for the fall semester.
After a month into my sophomore year, that same boy asked me to be his girlfriend! We've been dating for 2.5 years now, and I couldn't be happier. Let me just say though that there is a difference between intimacy and love. That first time we had sex was merely just to pleasure ourselves, but now having sex allows us to connect with each other in a whole different way. I trust him, and he trusts me.
After finishing up this semester of Healthy Couple
Relationships, it is crazy to think about how pretty much all the topics we
discussed can come together and make a full circle. This topic of intimacy can
relate to the topic of the five love languages. As stated in a previous post, my
love language is a tie between physical touch and receiving gifts. When my
boyfriend and I are intimate, specifically sexually, physical touch is important
to me. I enjoy lots of strokes of my hair and things of that sort.
This topic of intimacy and physical touch also relate to long
distance relationships. As mentioned in a previous post my boyfriend and I are
forced to do long distance for the summer being that we live in two different
states. Since my love language is physical touch, this is one of the hardest
parts of long distance relationships. I miss cuddling in bed and or just a goodbye
hug before I go to work. So, it is no surprise that when we discussed in class
that physical touch is a challenge of long distance relationships. That comfort
of having your partner there is irreplaceable. That explains why whenever I
would visit my boyfriend in the summer, the first thing that I would want to do
was to just cuddle on the couch and watch television. It is not the most
romantic or season appropriate activity being that we could be outside swimming
or something. I did not feel guilty of not being outside though because it felt
great to be in his presence again. After we felt we had enough intimate time, we
then had our fun in the sun. For summer visits we would do things such as go swimming
at Wisconsin Dells, go to the driving range to practice golf, go hiking at
scenic places, and go on long bike rides.
My boyfriend is not one to just spend money out of the blue.
Instead, he will meet my needs of gift giving for my five love languages by
splurging on food. So, for example, during the summer when we were seeing each
other for the 4th of July weekend, he got me a grape slushie and a
funnel cake. I did not really want him to spend the money on the overpriced
food, but he insisted that we can not go to the fair without carnival food.
There was also this other time where he went overboard on spending food. We
went out for our one year anniversary to a fancy steak restaurant. It is the
kind of restaurant where if you do not have a reservation, you will not be getting
a seat until two hours later. My boyfriend failed to make a reservation but
luckily there was room at their fancy bar area. It meant a lot to me that he bought
me a $50 steak for dinner plus dessert.
While words of affirmation is not one of my main love languages, I still think it is important
to me. For Valentine’s Day or our anniversary, I look forward to reading his
love notes in cards that he gives me. They are just the sweetest and I love
saving them!
1 comments
I can clearly see the areas where you've expanded and added greater detail or examples. Great! Your initial post was already quite strong, so your challenge to take it to the next level was a bit more difficult. You succeeded! This is a solid expansion that demonstrates growth, insight, and depth.
ReplyDeleteGrade on expansion 1: 10/10
Missing expansion 2: 0/10